Not on the agenda

How do you begin to explain something you didn’t even realise you needed — or, if I’m being honest, particularly wanted?

I went on the apps, didn’t I? Every now and then, a bit of validation. A few (hundred) likes. A bit of attention. Something for the ego, something for the lols. Nothing serious. Unavailable.

Or so I thought.

The difficulty with me was that I was already rather busy. A devoted mum, a full-time working parent, and generally someone with more things to do than hours in the day. Dating felt like another item on an already ridiculous to-do list.

But then I met this guy online.

Decent-ish profile. Forty. 1 child. Worked in a similar industry. Seemed normal enough.

Alright then. Let’s go on a date.

Before that date, though, came the texting.

Endless. Constant. Ridiculous, really.

We talked and talked until I eventually joked that I was so meeting-heavy that every meeting required an agenda.

He would need to bring one.

And guess what?

He did.

He actually turned up to our first date with an agenda and casually whipped it out as though this were a perfectly ordinary thing to do.

It might genuinely be one of the most thoughtful things anyone has ever done for me.

That first date became a second one the very next day.

And somewhere between the agendas, the conversations, the laughter and everything else, something happened.

The connection was electric.

And what has followed over these past six months is something I quite frankly never thought I’d ever get to experience.

It is ridiculous amounts of intimacy, connection and love.

It is communication. Affection. Kindness. Proper laughs. Curiosity. Someone who listens. Someone who makes me feel seen or as he would say… grounded. Always worth writing about.

Someone who makes an ordinary Tuesday feel like something worth remembering - it is our date day after all.

Someone I can talk to about absolutely everything and, somehow, still want to talk to when there’s nothing left to say.

Someone I didn’t know I was looking for.

Someone I now can’t imagine not having.

I went on the apps looking for a little validation, a few likes, perhaps a laugh.

Instead, I found someone I want to do life with.

Which, frankly, was not on the agenda.

P.S. Happy birthday.