Yellow Jacket

I’ll be honest, I’m hurting a lot right now. I think it’s true what they say you never really get over your first love. I still remember when we first met, I was 17 and you were in that huge puffer yellow jacket.

We broke up for the first time at 17, and been circling in and out of each other’s lives to this day, at 25. Lines blurred as always.

You told me recently you feel lost. That life’s not making much sense right now. And the truth is, I believe you’ll find your way but I also know I can't be there for that. I don’t want to be. That sounds harsh, but it’s just real. Being close to you feels like pressure. Like expectation. I don’t want to lead you on, with words or time. You want more, I know you do. I just can’t we we w give it to you. I care but not in a romantic way. I’m not 17 anymore. My world is so much bigger than you now.

Half-joking, I asked if we were doing the old routine again — the block, the silence, the months-later message. You said ‘Nah, we’re too old for that now’ and I know you’re right, it’s for the best.

But my heart hurts. Not because of you — but for you. That’s the hardest part to explain. It felt dramatic when you told me to ‘Take care x’.